


Coffee Delights

by Denif



Category: Persona 5, Sesame Street (TV)
Genre: M/M, being two dudes chilling, elmo is there, its just like sex, you're having fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-26 02:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12049224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denif/pseuds/Denif
Summary: A normal everyday in Leblanc's coffee shop for two Phantom Thieves.Not counting Elmo.





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a hard day that never seemed to end, but we all know it will because days always end unless you're in the wrong timeline in that case holy shit? 

Anyhow, Akira and his buddy ol' pal the very heterosexually in denial; Ryuji made their way over to Leblanc's after school for some kickass coffee.

Just two guys drinking coffee two chairs apart because they're not gay.  
Of course Akira doesn't trust Ryuji with cooking at all, even if it's just for coffee. So his gay ass is making it, when Ryuji pops the question;  
"Yo dude who the FUCK is the guy in the red fursuit?"

Akira blushed at the question, it seemed all too sudden.. And here for all places?

"That's my true inner self-- No I'm just kidding, that's a regular here." He replied meekly, still flustered at Ryuji finally popping the question. Ryuji stared at the customer, he seemed so... Me Me Big Boy??? Large. Like a teddy. A weird red... Furry... Teddy?

"A regular." Akira gave a small nod nervously, sliding over Ryuji's coffee over the counter. "We don't speak to him."

Ryuji idly took the coffee, glancing at Akira blankly; "I'm not gay, but why not?"

The question made Akira shift a hand through his hair as he made his way over the counter to the chair. Not like, walking, but like crawling over the counter.  
He's a man.

"He is a God among non-believers and smite those who try to rise." Ryuji felt himself sweat in a not gay way at those words.

A god? Impossible. We've been through gods before!!!!!!!!!!!!! We'd know if that bitch was a God! Ryuji angrily thought, before thinking again; Wait, have we done that in this fic yet? Ryuji shook his head, glancing at Akira... I'm not gay...

"That's a load of shit, dude." Ryuji hissed out, nya nya.....cat boys.. 

"No, dude, my straight friend, It's true. He once bitch slapped Sojiro.." Akira gave a shakey reply, taking Ryuji's cup and taking a sip. What? Did you think he'd make two? No, they're just bros sharing..

"So what?" Ryuji snorted, casting a glance back to the fursuit person in the booth in the back. 

"Do you see Sojiro around anymore? He's gone." 

"W-Where did he go?" 

"He got bitch slapped into next year... He'll be back soon..."

"N-no way dude? I'm not gay." Ryuji felt himself give a small choke, Was He Really A God? 

"Dude... Way..." Akira drank Ryuji's coffee emptily. Futaba and him had been waiting so long for Sojiro to return... It had been... so long..

"We do not speak to the Red King unless he speaks to us." Ryuji felt fear stumble and fall down his spine, like Jack when Jill and him went to go chill on a hill or something, at those words from his leader. 

"Yeah? Well. I don't fear no damned god!" Ryuji yelled, standing up out of the chair at the counter because I guess they're sitting there Idk i didnt think ahead sorry. He viciously twirled around, channeling his years in ballet that he repressed the memories of. 

Akira said nothing, just very sadly drank his coffee, fighting his tears. He would lose his heterosexual boyfriend today. To the Red God. 

Ryuji took this time to stomp over to the fursuit, a determined look on his face. like, an angry owo. like this (╬ Ò ‸ Ó) i couldnt find the angry owo ugh.

"Hey, you, budd-" The red furry sexy head moved to look at him blankly, showing no emotion because it's a giant fursuit. "This is Elmo's world, bitch." 

Ryuji swallowed, he only felt fear seep into his very core as if the depths of the void was finally accepting him into nothingness, coiling the kind tendrils around him to tenderly tear him into pieces until he finally loses his grip on reality. This is Elmo's world, Bitch. 

Ryuji said nothing, turning to sit back with Akira. His eyes dull and empty. Unaware of what to think anymore. He finally understood, We are all nothing to Elmo. 

"Do you fully comprehend the world that we live in Ryuji-kun? Do you understand my fear? My knowledge? My gay?" Akira whispered, handing the coffee to Ryuji who absently took it, taking a slow, steady, sexual sip... 

"We are all Elmo's bitches, truly. I'm not gay tho."

"Would you fuck Elmo?" Akira asked, letting his tears roll down his face in pain. He too, would fuck Elmo.

"Elmo's world.." 

"Yeah. " 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elmo has no mercy. Good bye Makoto.

"Yeah so, was this really the best place to hold a meeting? And why is it just us three? I'm feeling kind of like a third whee-"  
"I'm not gay, But yes, It is the best place to hold it."  
"It was a hard decision, but I wanted our weekly date to be here."  
"I'm not gay, but yeah. That's also part of it."

Makoto gave a loud sigh at this, her gaze switching back and forth from Ryuji to Akira. Who were sitting together in the booth together. Not gayly. "I don't see how Chuck E Cheese is a good place to plan our attack versus Elmo?"

"Chuck E Cheese is the true god of us, he represents our inner self doubt and reasonings for why we worship them as young kids. We always follow the great cartoons because our minds are not fully there. We depend on them to continue on our lives, we cling to fictional characters and give them more powers. Elmo absorbs the souls of innocents. While the mouse overlord, the counterpart of the gods; Chuck E Cheese, spreads love and joy for all who have money to come down to here." Akira muttered, taking a slice of the cheesy pizza emptily. 

"Wow.. Akira.. That one brief explanation is almost more dialogue than you voice acted in the entire game." Makoto said, staring at him blankly, slightly stunned. 

"Naw, He gets like this all the time. It's when we have our vent sessions together and discuss our feelings."  
"Uh.. You didn't confirm you aren't gay after saying that, Ryuji?"  
"It's not gay to talk about your feelings, Makoto."

"Alright... So.. How do we get Chuck E Cheese to work with us, since you're so full of confidence that he is the answer?" Makoto sighed out, already giving up. Say something, she's giving up on you.

"Chuck E Cheese enjoys the tickets you win from the machines and games here to be rubbed upon his costume." Akira dully said, still enjoying the pizza because no one else wanted it for some reason wtf yall lIVE a little.

Makoto numbly stood up, "No, I will handle this myself and get Sojiro back easily."   
"Makoto no?"  
"Makoto yes."

"What will you do?" Ryuji gawked, unsure of what to say, really. How could she possibly dare to stand up against a force to be reckoned with? They had explained the feeling with her? How?  
"Talk to him, of course." Makoto said in that one tone, you know the one. The Makoto tone.

"You can not talk to that man!! He is a God!"  
"Maybe? But have you truly tried to bargain with him?" Makoto calmly asked, walking past them.

"Makoto wait!" Ryuji cried, crawling over Akira who had trapped him in the booth corner. Tumbling out of the booth to chase her down. While Akira merely watched them go.

Ignorant fools. More pizza for him.

\--- this means a time skip i hope u realize this nyoom theyre gone

"He is here, correct?"  
"That's right. He's in the usual booth. Just staring at into the void of nothing." Akira muttered, sitting outside Leblanc with Ryuji and Makoto, obviously.

"Perfect." Makoto said monotonely, walking by the two fuckerinas into the cafe. Making Akira choke back and sob as Ryuji idly held Akira.   
"Be strong for Mona, Akira."

Ryuji let go for, going inside after a small 'no homo' whisper. Akira also went in because I love him he has to be involved. 

The sound of fear hit his ears instantly as Ryuji pulled him into the corner by that $$$ painting in the Cafe.  
"Dude, She's total-"  
"I didn't mean to upset you. I merely asked that you return my friend to me."

Elmo turned his head emptily to stare at her. Eyes devoid of emotion, yet telling truly everything you could possibly hope to ever know.

"Elmo does not forget."   
It was cold, it felt like an eternity after he spoke before anything truly happened, before any words were spoken to break the eternity long silence.  
"Dude.." Akira looked up at the word from his coffee that he summoned from the fucking void because honestly I feel like that's just an Akira Thing.

"What?"   
"Makoto is gone.. dude.."  
"You haven't said you aren't gay in a few lines, someone may question it."  
"I'm a hetero."  
"Okay, where's Makoto?"

"Your 'friend' Makoto was an ignorant fool to think that she could truly stand up to talk to the god of this world. I thought it would be fun so I stole that one Naruto Eye thing the edgy family has and made her disappear. At least I think that's how that thing works. We're not sure as the writer of this hasn't really investigated Naruto in like 4 years. But That Doesn't Matter. This is Elmo's world. I do whatever the fuck I want. I will throw off the balance of the universe and rule it for my own."

Ryuji felt himself give a small wail in pain; "Why didn't she listen? Why didn't we just get Chuck E Cheese to help us? Where is our hope now?"

"We still have like, 5 other team members we can get to help." Akira said emptily, his eyes glancing to Elmo.

"Do.. You think he has a palace?" Ryuji managed to whisper, mourning over Makoto, his vision blurred by not gay tears over his friend's misfortune. 

"This entire world is his palace, Ryuji."  
"Dude. don't say that."  
"I for one, accept our new fursuit loving coffee drinking god."  
"Akira, no. That's how you get a bad ending!"

**Author's Note:**

> http://prntscr.com/gjfa48


End file.
